Yeast Excrement - Breakfast of Champions, Baby!

I just finished Breakfast of Champions or Goodbye Blue Monday by the missed Kurt Vonnegut. I replayed the audiobook about 4 times when it got to the part about the Tralfamadore alien. (Below is an excerpt from this scene, which I got from this site so if it sucks and is wrong blame them.)

"A flying saucer creature named Zog arrived on Earth to
explain how wars could be prevented and how cancer can be
cured. He brought the information from Margo, a planet where
the natives conversed by means of farts and tap dancing.

Zog landed at night in Connecticut. He had no sooner
touched down than he saw a house on fire. He rushed into the
house, farting and tap dancing, warning the people about the
terrible danger they were in. The head of the house brained
Zog with a golf club (Vit 3)."

That was hilarious. Just imagine. Anyway, another super part of this book is when he talks about the yeast excrement. What a perfect description he paints for alcohol. So these microorganisms eat the sugar and crap out alcohol, which then this creates an environment that eventually kills the yeast. Brilliant. They crap their own fabulous poison.

So the other piece of this book I love is how character Science Fiction author Kilgore Trout has all of his novels published by a dirty adult publisher, as many sci fi writers go to great lengths to get their works published. Well he's often upset how the pictures they include in the book have nothing to do with the story content. For example, there's a picture in one of his novels of a professor being stripped of his professor clothing by these college girls with a library in view of the professor's office window (or something that indicates this is a campus) and Kilgore is irritated because nowhere in the book is a college campus or anything related mentioned. Funny.

Side note: Currently watching Anthony Bourdain's show No Reservations and he just said, "Breakfast of champions" as he ate balls. Yes, sheep balls. What a magical ending to this blog post.

YouTube, Debates, & a Poofy Calico Delight

Whoa, the world has changed so much. I remember when it was groundbreaking that Bill Clinton went on MTV and answered the questions of MTV kids. I just watched the tail-end of the YouTube debate on CNN. It was insane watching potential candidates answering the questions of YouTube viewers. It's like Web 2.0 has finally arrived. The Internet is shifting the power of the people. (Although keep in mind certain companies want to fuck all that up - check out the article in the August issue of Playboy or this incomplete article.) Just buy the Playboy, you get to see hot chicks naked and photo-shopped to uber perfection. And the article is complete and very good.

I'm probably being over dramatic, as I have that tendency. However I think back to that MTV thingy with Bill Clinton and I remember thinking how the hell those losers got on the show. Are they all from New York? Rich enough to travel there? And then how did they get chosen for ticket dispersion?

For this debate numerous candidates felt compelled to participate, unlike the 90s with Bill. As if not participating with a YouTube debate would be the demise of a campaign, which I'm sure it would be for any who declined...McCain?. Or did I miss the news story that he finally pulled out. I used to respect that guy as the only Republican that had the balls to occasionally think outside the conservative box. But boy did he disappoint the last year.

Everyone with access to a web-cam or video camera with appropriate hook-ups had the chance to ask an intelligent question. Granted they were filtered through a corporate news network (I'm assuming CNN chose the questions, however according to an article from their site it's more open that that).

Well, now that YouTube has really made a difference, I really need to finish that music video featuring my poofy calico cat and Sepultura's "Territory." All this attention for YouTube will surely bring her all the publicity she needs to launch her career as cutest gd cat EVAR!!!

Hotdamn, I'm Famous

Well, sort of. I pride myself on being a wordsmith. So when I found out that my friend, and long lost brother, Mark Peters, posted a word I made up in a recent email to him on his totally fabulous Wordlustitude Blog I was obviously thrilled. Wow, that sentence was poorly constructed. Mark will surely hate it.

Well here it is. My contribution to our amazing language captured on Wordlustitude: ackfuck.

Next I think he needs to capture my word "slimetard" from a previous blog post. That's a super word. Highly versatile, and excellent to use when describing people who are slimy, creepy, and not very clever or mentally slow.

******/**o* = Greedy Souless Slimetards

*Previous parts of post censored*

I don't know how people like the *****'s sleep at night. I don't know how the people who carry out their evil deeds sleep at night. Perhaps they roll in money and it takes away all bothersome thoughts of morality and empathy. Or perhaps once you sell your soul to the devil one of the perks is that this kind of shit doesn't phase you.

Well enjoy life now, assholes, because Hell awaits.

Sprinklers Own Your Ass, Mother Nature

So it seemed a ridiculous idea at the time, but after the Sag Corridor fire in 1995 a bunch of homeowners installed forest fire sprinkler systems on their home and surrounding property. When dad first told me about the system he was installing I laughed at him. Like some stupid sprinklers would be able to stop an approaching wall of fire from consuming your home and trees. But the science of these systems is actually quite sound and the pictures I took yesterday are proof of their power.

The sprinklers create this bubble of humid air that acts as a Star Trek style shield preventing burning embers and flames from entering the protective bubble. The sprinklers become most effective if you're able to run them at least 3 hours in advance of the fire.

My dad's place survived the recent Ham Lake fire and so did many of his neighbors on Island Road. Dad was a member of the now legendary Seagull Seven who defended our road that week in early May. (Dad actually coined the term - there was another remarkable group of people on the Canadian side of Saganaga Lake who were called the Saganaga Six).

Check out these pictures from Island Rd:

The heat of the fire got right next to this home.

Check out the burned area directly behind these homes that survived.

A closer view of the previous picture.