Hotdamn, I'm Famous

Well, sort of. I pride myself on being a wordsmith. So when I found out that my friend, and long lost brother, Mark Peters, posted a word I made up in a recent email to him on his totally fabulous Wordlustitude Blog I was obviously thrilled. Wow, that sentence was poorly constructed. Mark will surely hate it.

Well here it is. My contribution to our amazing language captured on Wordlustitude: ackfuck.

Next I think he needs to capture my word "slimetard" from a previous blog post. That's a super word. Highly versatile, and excellent to use when describing people who are slimy, creepy, and not very clever or mentally slow.

******/**o* = Greedy Souless Slimetards

*Previous parts of post censored*

I don't know how people like the *****'s sleep at night. I don't know how the people who carry out their evil deeds sleep at night. Perhaps they roll in money and it takes away all bothersome thoughts of morality and empathy. Or perhaps once you sell your soul to the devil one of the perks is that this kind of shit doesn't phase you.

Well enjoy life now, assholes, because Hell awaits.

Sprinklers Own Your Ass, Mother Nature

So it seemed a ridiculous idea at the time, but after the Sag Corridor fire in 1995 a bunch of homeowners installed forest fire sprinkler systems on their home and surrounding property. When dad first told me about the system he was installing I laughed at him. Like some stupid sprinklers would be able to stop an approaching wall of fire from consuming your home and trees. But the science of these systems is actually quite sound and the pictures I took yesterday are proof of their power.

The sprinklers create this bubble of humid air that acts as a Star Trek style shield preventing burning embers and flames from entering the protective bubble. The sprinklers become most effective if you're able to run them at least 3 hours in advance of the fire.

My dad's place survived the recent Ham Lake fire and so did many of his neighbors on Island Road. Dad was a member of the now legendary Seagull Seven who defended our road that week in early May. (Dad actually coined the term - there was another remarkable group of people on the Canadian side of Saganaga Lake who were called the Saganaga Six).

Check out these pictures from Island Rd:

The heat of the fire got right next to this home.

Check out the burned area directly behind these homes that survived.

A closer view of the previous picture.

Google Knows It - I'm Amazing

Ok, I did a Google search for "Hot Sugared Donut Holes" and guess who was the first result. Yours fucking truly. This here blog. Although this blog has started off being an obsess-fest over the great Mr. Mike Ness it has somehow climbed the Google ranks to be the first search result when searching for the Dave & Buster's lovely dessert, the namesake of my blog.

Either Google is wrong or I am popular. I think Google could never be wrong and I like the idea of being popular. Narcissism fits an only child so very well.

I'd like to thank my parents, my cats, my dog Sofia, and of course Jesus.

A YouTube experiment made in heaven

I'm trying something new. Embedding a YouTube video directly from YouTube. It's one of my fave SD songs.

Warning: Mike Ness may cause Weakness of the Knees

How did God do it. How did he make a man like Mike Ness. He was totally on that day in 1962. He created a masterpiece of a man. I don't want to be lame and ruin all of this by getting into the specifics behind what makes Mike Ness the most amazing, loveliest man alive, but suffice it to say that he is and the Hottest and Most Sugared Donut Hole in the universe put it in her blog. So it must be a fact.

It's a PC world, so let's eliminate bake-offs while we're at it

Everything has gone the way of political correctness and none of it has satisfied my needs. For example I like to say harassment with the "ass" pronounced as the word intended, not the dreaded hairessment.

So as someone who doesn't feel the need to be constantly offended by pointless bullshit I've finally found my point of offention. (get it - it's a play on "point of contention"...)

Anyway at work today we had this bake-off contest for a meeting. The meeting occurred around lunchtime when people are generally hungry. Well self goddamn control went out the goddamn window and I ate craploads of sugary creamy buttery-crusty crap. CRAP!!! I don't even like sweet stuff. Ugh, not pleased.

So there should be a rule that bake-offs have to contain splenda and fat free cream cheese. Or else a nice, hungry girl such as myself will be subjected to the temptation and peer-pressure of eating the baked goods of proud, and possibly sensitive, co-workers. Or bake-offs should be optional gatherings and not at required meetings during lunch hours.

I got up at 5:30am this morning to get to downtown Minneapolis early enough to workout. I rode the bus with no makeup. All to negate it with cheesecake and pie. Not cool, man, not cool.

Fuck Productivity

Yes, I'm supposed to be cleaning the house for the gd carpet cleaners. But instead I'm wasting time on MySpace and intermittently dancing around the living room as I listen to Social Distortion as the tunes dictate dancability. Some are just more danceable than others. I think I'm making up words here, but I'm a certified wordsmith so it's all good.

Do I have any broke friends in the St. Cloud area who need free food? I have a big box of canned & boxed shit like cream corn that I was going to donate to the food shelf. I have no idea how I ended up with so much Food Club Creamed Corn. I don't even eat that crap. In the process of clearing out crap in the house for the carpet munchers, as my long lost brother Mark calls them, I've come across a stockpile of food I must have been building for the apocalypse or nuclear holocaust or something. Well this shit has got to go, so let me know if you want in. Especially if you heart creamed corn.

Ugh, dude it's nearly 4pm. Must...get...motivated...

Warning: Mike Ness may cause weakness of the knees.

Another State of Mind

It's taken me a while to get here. To this Blogosphere, or whatever the hell it's called.

It's Friday, it's been a long week, and I want to go home and get my party on. I've got Another State of Mind waiting for me at my smelly house and I intend to watch Mike Ness with pleasure and drink some wine and get into another state of mind.

This is my first blog post, and therefore pretty lame by default of being the first. I just wanted to get it over with.

Over and Out.